Life before Cancer had a rhythm. You woke up, moved through the day, and most things made sense. Then treatment started, and the ground seemed to move under your feet. When pain, appointments, and side effects change from week to week, even simple things like showering or answering a text can feel huge. In the…
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How I Plan My Treatment Weeks So I Don’t Fall Apart By Friday
By Wednesday of my first chemo cycle, I cried in the shower because I dropped the soap. Not because of the soap, of course. My body ached, my mind felt foggy, and my heart carried a quiet fear that this was my new normal. By Friday, I felt like an empty shell. I knew I…
Read moreAt the end of 6 years, I have given up on the idea of arriving someplace. There will never be a time when I understand everything and can live without fear. I expected to get to that place. I thought that after 6 years, I would have it figured out. I have not. Maybe that is the first thing I want you to know.
At the end of 6 years, I have given up on the idea of arriving someplace. There will never be a time when I understand everything and can live without fear. I expected to get to that place. I thought that after 6 years, I would have it figured out. I have not. Maybe that…
Read moreRealizing the best things in life are not things but moments that take your breath away
The day you hear the word Cancer, the world shrinks to a few square feet. A room, a chair, a doctor’s voice. Everything else goes fuzzy at the edges. The car you drive, the phone in your pocket, the clothes in your closet, all fade. What stays sharp is the feeling of a hand in…
Read moreStaying the Course Through Cancer: Real Courage Beyond Forced Positivity
People love to say, “Just stay positive,” when you are in treatment. At first, I tried to do that, to keep a brave face and a smile no matter what was happening. Over time, I learned that forced positivity is not the same as real courage. What has kept me going is something quieter and…
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