I have multiple myeloma, a bone marrow cancer. I do not think I should feel proud of that. I am not sure pride and cancer belong in the same sentence. Cancer came without warning. At first, I felt tired. Then I felt worn down. Before long, my body began to lose ground. A long time…
Read moreCategory: Personal Essays on Living with life-threatening diseases
The Unwritten Morning
Have you ever woken up to a new day and really wondered what it held? Not a passing thought, but a real reckoning with the next few hours. When you live with a chronic illness, each morning feels like stepping into a story that hasn’t been written yet. Some days, I feel on top of…
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When Memories Become Ghosts of the Past
Some days, memory ambushes me without warning. I will be standing in the kitchen, reaching for a cup, and something, a slant of morning light, the smell of salt air drifting in from the coast, pulls me back. Not gently. Memory rarely works gently. It grabs you by the collar and drags you to another…
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When Memories Become Ghosts of the Past
Some days, memory ambushes me without warning. I will be standing in the kitchen, reaching for a cup, and something, a slant of morning light, the smell of salt air drifting in from the coast, pulls me back. Not gently. Memory rarely works gently. It grabs you by the collar and drags you to another…
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When the numbers start moving in the wrong direction
For years, I have remembered the moment the lab tests showed I was worse than the previous week. I was sitting in an examination room, listening to my oncologist discuss my results. Crinkling paper was the only noise in the room, and I could feel my heart beating faster. My oncologist’s expression did not give…
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