Something may sound unusual to you. Hope is not something that occurs to you; it’s something you make happen. I know that if you’re in the midst of it – if you’ve been consumed by anxiety that literally sits in your chest, or if depression has painted every color in the world a dull gray – you probably wouldn’t appreciate hearing that you need to do more work. You already do. I see you. I see the exhaustion that can go deep into your bones, that can turn even the smallest decision into a mountain.
However, I’ve learned from my experiences in the darkest times, and from walking along with those in their darkest moments, that hope is not a feeling you wait for to arrive. It’s an exercise in discipline. It’s a choice. It’s a series of small, intentional actions that remind your tired heart that you still exist. You still count. There’s better yet.
Tiny Actions Can Be Most Powerful
Some days, getting dressed is a declaration of war against the darkness. It’s telling the shadows that you won’t allow them to win before you even begin your day. You’re telling yourself that you care about this space. You care about yourself.
It sounds a little dramatic, but I assure you it’s not. When everything appears to be unknown and the future appears as a giant question mark, and you can’t determine the answers, these small rituals will serve as anchors. These small rituals prove to yourself that you took action. You were able to find a way to continue functioning rather than succumbing to the darkness. Even though you can’t see the entire staircase, you’re willing to take the very first step.
I have seen hope come from the tiniest of seeds. Simply walk outside each morning, even if you don’t feel like it. Opening the curtains to allow sunlight in. Sending a text to a friend instead of isolating. Drinking water. Taking your medications. In each of these behaviors, you are telling your brain through your actions that you believe you’re worth the effort.
Noticing What’s Good Too
Here’s something you can do right now that is incredibly powerful: start paying attention to what’s good in addition to what’s difficult.
I’m not suggesting you pretend the difficult parts aren’t there. Your challenges are very real. Your suffering is legitimate. However, I have found that the part of our brains responsible for hunting down evidence that life is awful, especially when we’re in struggle mode, can be very adept at finding evidence to prove that it is awful.
We need to teach our brains to search for different evidence.
This is where gratitude comes into play – not the Instagram-perfect type of gratitude, but the raw, honest type of gratitude. Perhaps today you can simply acknowledge that you’re grateful your friend texted you. Grateful for your coffee. Grateful you made it out of bed. That’s enough. Acknowledging those tiny aspects of goodness begins to rewire something within us. It teaches our minds that good does exist, even here, even now.
You Don’t Have To Go Through This By Yourself
One of the most insidious lies that depression and anxiety can tell us is that we’re doing this alone. That everyone else has things figured out. That you are uniquely broken.
Let me tell you something. You are not alone in this. Far from it.
The people who care about you want to help. They might not always know how, and that’s OK. Allow them to show up however they can. Allow them to sit in silence with you. Allow them to bring you soup, memes, or whatever they think would be helpful, or simply exist beside you when words feel like too much.
There’s something so beautiful that happens when we stop pretending we’re okay. When we reach out and admit we’re struggling, we give the other person permission to be human too. We create bridges rather than barriers. Sometimes simply being seen by someone who cares for you while you experience pain can plant a seed of hope you never knew existed.
Taking the First Step
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t need a five-year plan or even a five-day plan.
What you need to do is take the next right action. Just one. Then another. Then another.
Some days, that action is getting help. Calling a therapist. Looking into support groups. Talking to your doctor about options. Some days it’s smaller: brushing your teeth, eating something healthy, choosing the walk over the scroll.
Every time you make the conscious choice to engage in a positive behavior rather than a negative one — every time you vote for your future self — you’re exercising hope. You’re deciding to move toward a brighter tomorrow. You’re deciding to approach today with as much energy and gentleness as you possibly can.
You Are Stronger Than You Believe
I believe in you. I don’t mean in a generic motivational poster way. I really do believe in you because you’re here, reading this. You’re still showing up. That takes courage – the kind that doesn’t always get acknowledged, but should.
The future may seem uncertain. The road ahead of you may seem unclear. However, you don’t have to see the entire road to take the next step. All you have to believe is that you’re worth the effort.
You are. Every time. Every day.
Keep moving forward. We need you here.
