Loving yourself is no easy task. For many of us, it’s something we struggle with on a daily basis. There are so many things that can get in the way of loving yourself: not meeting society’s standards of attractiveness, being diagnosed with a chronic illness or personal injury, or even just having an “ugly day” where you feel self-conscious and not confident in your own skin. But learning to love yourself is also one of the most important steps you can take as an individual. When you don’t love yourself, it makes every other part of your life more challenging. You might have trouble making friends, dating potential partners, or finding a job that fits you because you don’t have much confidence in your abilities. On top of all that, if you don’t love yourself it makes taking care of your body and health even harder because you aren’t living in the moment and trying to do everything you can to make yourself feel better on the inside and out.

Why Learning to Love Yourself Is So Hard

One of the first things to realize about loving yourself is that it’s not something you can simply “figure out” and move on from. While it’s a good idea to periodically examine your relationship with yourself, and make sure you’re doing the best you can, loving yourself isn’t a one and done type of thing. It’s something you’re constantly working on, and you’ll likely have ups and downs throughout your life when it comes to your confidence and feelings towards yourself. If you’re currently going through a time where you don’t love yourself very much, know that it’s completely normal, and that you don’t have to push yourself to love yourself all at once. It’s okay to take your time, and to only take baby steps when it comes to learning to love yourself. It’s also important to try to avoid putting pressure on yourself to “get better” or to love yourself right away.

Strategies for Loving Yourself Anyway

– Set small, attainable goals for yourself. One of the best ways to build up your confidence and self-love is by setting small, attainable goals for yourself. This can be anything from saying “hi” to one person you don’t know a day to trying out a new activity you’ve always been curious about. Sometimes just trying something new and positive can help you feel more confident and positive about yourself. – Try to be kind to yourself when you fail. When you fail, or when you have a negative self-talk day, it’s important to try to be as kind to yourself as you possibly can. The best way to help yourself feel better is to know that you love yourself, and to do the best you can to not put yourself down for things out of your control. If you fail at a goal or something you set out to do, you don’t need to tell yourself that you’re a failure. You’re human, and we all make mistakes, that’s part of life. – Be gentle with yourself. There will be times when you don’t love yourself at all, and that’s okay. It’s important to recognize these times and be gentle with yourself and the way you feel. Don’t push yourself, and don’t try to force yourself to do anything you don’t want to do. Take your time, and know that there are plenty of ways you can love yourself even when you’re not quite there yet.

How to Find Self-Love

When all feels lost and you just don’t know how to love yourself, there are a few things you can try that may help you get back on track. – Write yourself a letter. When all else fails, try writing yourself a letter about why you love yourself. This can help you get out all your feelings, and can be a great way to start working towards loving yourself if you feel like you’re currently far from that place. Try to be as honest as possible, and don’t be afraid to open up and let yourself feel vulnerable. – Create a self-love playlist. Music can be a great way to get in touch with your emotions and be gentle with yourself when you don’t feel confident in your own skin. Create a playlist of songs that make you feel more positive, and try to listen to it at least once a week when you need a boost. – Practice mindfulness and meditation. Mindfulness and meditation can be a great way to clear your mind and get in touch with your emotions. It can help you feel more confident and positive about yourself, and it can also be a great way to help you become more comfortable in your own skin.


One of the most important things you can do for yourself is learn to love yourself. When you love yourself, you’re better able to care for your health, take care of your mental health, and do everything you can to make the most of your life. Loving yourself is a journey, and it’s okay if you don’t feel completely confident in yourself right away. It’s a process, and one worth working towards.

Ronald Bissell Compassionate Voices Articles and Blog